OK, look, I don't know who Kate Gosselin is but her line on "Sarah Palin's Alaska" (while camping in the rain) is the funniest thing I've heard all day:
"Why would you pretend to be homeless?"
That pretty well sums up my feelings about camping.
++++
(For some reason I think I still have the ur-knowledge of how to select high flat ground for a tent, and dig a draining ditch around it with a trowel. For someone who dislikes spiders as much as I do I think I spent a lot of time camping as a kid.)
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My lawyer says we have to protect ourselves: note that we're constantly developing screenplays, we probably have a screenplay like what you suggest in development. Furthermore, if you suggest an idea for a screenplay you're giving us that idea.