Nine Amazing Reasons You Haven't Been Tried For Xenocide

1. Only thirty percent of your brain is used for motor function. You can ask for a reprieve but the gods have already bypassed that function in the list. 
2. The singular reservations against concomitant sympathies were rescinded before the life force imbued itself upon you. Automated assessments are continuing but you may need a visa in any case.
3. We sighted land at four thirty in the afternoon of the sixtieth day. The arch-nemesis extended the slow technical epistolary. 
4. The private investigator hired by the family would spend his expense money on cheese sticks, which weren't terribly tasty.
5. Profit.
6. We have reviewed the evidence but have not established appropriate chain-of-custody.
7. Hamster lydecker moot sliding partake in historicity. You know how it goes.
8. Your execution date has already been set. The trial takes place afterward.
9. Turns out, Earth was a prison planet all this time.