Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Handcuffs of the Present

So I'm walking down the street and I casually look in a window and see this.
I saw the orange one first.
They only had the two of 'em. And they were $15 a piece and I couldn't talk 'em down.
Somebody's gonna need to modify them or put some sort of thingy in-between them.
They knew I was desperate. They knew I'd do anything. But now we have the handcuffs of the future.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Handcuffs of the Future

We need handcuffs. But you know, from the future. There are these nice-looking things. I don't think they actually exist.
Much breathless reportage occured when someone filed for this patent on cuffs which could administer electric shocks or drugs.

Here are the images for our police badge. I forget which one we got.
We got this dark one.
We need at least one control panel which goes on a wall.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Ecig in the Movies

Matthew Trumbull occludes Sarah-Doe Osborne while Tarantino Smith looks on.
My eldest brother, Dave, custom mixed this nicotine-free haze stuff for this e-cig he lent us for the movie.
Matthew Trumbull took to it right away. It's amazing how, without any flavoring added, I can't smell this thing at all. I mean, I can smell our regular theatrical hazer.* But not this stuff.

Right now I have three lights rigged to the front of the camera. This movie is supposed to be entirely the camera inside the robot and security cameras. I'm not really shooting the whole thing that way. But I am shooting the movie much more "flat" than I usually do (see the above image). That may very well take to color correction better. We'll see.

*I may be wrong about that.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


SCUBA, up in here Northeastern parts of the US, is a seasonal activity. We are no entering the cold dark Winter months where wetsuits cannot be used and all the hard-core divers go southward to dive.
In order for me to dive up 'round here over the next few months I would need to get dry suit certified. And that's just not gonna happen because I just missed the last dry suit course at my local dive shop (LDS).

Even if I'd had scads of extra cash to take the course I had another problem -- my recently discovered allergy to Neoprene. And that needs to get fixed before learning to use a dry suit, but the open water part of learning a dry suit has a wintertime window which is closing rapidly. The quarry at Dutch Springs goes on very limited time and then closes for much of the Winter.
So my only option to actually go diving (that I know of) is some Jersey charters which dive wrecks out in the Atlantic. These dives go upward of 100' salt water and it ain't warm there. And if I'm not dry-suit certified then I can't go on them.
So uh. I'm kinda "grounded" (heh) for the winter. 
It seems that if I wear an underlayer of a spandex - type stuff that I can wear Neoprene over it. I'll have to keep testing it.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Scuba dooba doo

So. I'm definitely allergic to Neoprene. Bleh.
I have a horrible rash from my hood. I only wore it for a few minutes yesterday, but it totally verbonked me.
I wore regular cotton socks beneath my booties and that maybe sort of worked though. But really in the long-term I think I'm going to have to get Thermocline stuff to keep my skin away from the Neoprene.
There are vastly worse things in the world than an allergy to Neoprene. And facing reality I'll need a drysuit in order to dive in the Northeast anyway. I'll still need a Thermocline hood, but that's a reasonably-priced thing to get.

I cannot fathom (heh) why so much SCUBA stuff is black. I mean, the reason is because divers think it looks cool. It is way not safe. I seriously want a bright yellow diamond-pattern drysuit like a harlequin. I'll probably just end up with a Coast Guard rescue swimmer - type suit though. That will be in the future, when I have some large amount of cash.
That time is coming, right?
This is a pdf to an instruction manual on the Frenzel Technique which is, as far as I can understand, a simply insane means to equalize the pressure in your ears.

Friday, October 18, 2013


Scuba calculators. Because, you know, scuba calculators.

Diveboard is a thing. Like Scuba Earth is a thing. For logging dives online.
Subsurface is an open-source multi-platform scuba logging application.

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Thermocline. No. The OTHER kind. Of Thermocline.

I'm afraid I might be slightly allergic to neoprene.
Neoprene is basically what SCUBA is made of.
Apparently neoprene allergies are actually allergies to all the other crap in the neoprene used in the manufacturing. I think I have a neoprene allergy because of a rash on my feet where the neoprene booties I have rub on them. The rash disappears right where the booties stop.
Clearly I haven't had much trouble from wetsuits, but I don't wear them 3 or 4 times a week like I do my booties.

Answers to this problem include:
Thermocline fin socks to wear inside my booties.
Fourth Element makes Thermocline wetsuits and such too. Interestingly the Thermocline stuff doesn't compress at depth the way neoprene does. That's very interesting if you have trouble with bouyancy. ;-)
I'd love to get one of their Thermocline jackets to swim with in the pool.

Sunday, October 06, 2013

Fat Val Kilmer

They: You know who you look like? 
We: Me?
They: Pete Holmes
We: Who's that?
They: He says he's the "fat Val Kilmer." 
We: So you're calling me fat.

This was the only picture I could find of him which looked much like me though.
Me. For reference.
Val Kilmer, not looking like me, but not looking super-duper thin either.


Apollo Bio Fins. Fins. For swimming.
The Battery is a zombie indy.

This, That, The Other Thing

Anti-e-cig rebuttals.

A deeply wack 1968 comic-book style manual for the Army's M16. It is shockingly racist. I mean, like WWII racist.

If you can't fathom how NPR could possibly get more smug, just check out their story on literary fiction. You know, as opposed to "books you actually want to read."

Force Fins. Funny-looking fins. Expensive. Supposed to be very nice though.

Saturday, October 05, 2013

Outliving us

Today I saw a private screening of They Will Outlive Us All. It's an impressive indy picture and a horror comedy. Those are two things I just can't do.
It's a really well written movie and really, Nat Cassidy is almost naked for a substantial portion of the movie. And Jessi Gotti is totally a movie star.
There's really only one other horror zombie comedy from the "real indy" world of low-budget filmmaking that's any good. And that's Chance Shirley's Hide and Creep.

They did a stunning job on the audio post on They Will Outlive Us All. I was filled with envy. I mean I'm supposed to be the guy who can do that. I can't. They totally can. Dialog edit was fantastic.

I think there were three sets. And one zombie bug puppet. It was amazing.

They Will Outlive Us All is to Evil Dead II what Hide and Creep is to Dr. Strangelove.

Friday, October 04, 2013


Apparently I've already annoyed all my friends talking about how awesome SCUBA is.
SCUBA is awesome. Now when I tell a friend how awesome SCUBA is they say "Hey, I heard you can breathe underwater" to me.
But, Dude, I say, you can breathe underwater.

Seriously that's the most amazing thing.
So far I've only done like 9 dives and they've all been at Dutch Springs, a quarry in Pennsylvania. And I know that a lot of the old hat divers are all like "you have to go to Belize" or whatever -- but I just don't care. I will dive in your swimming pool. I would dive in a bathtub if it's big enough. Seeing groovy fish is cool but so is being in a very silty environment. I love seeing the beams of light coming up off of other divers when it's so dark and silted up you can't see more than a few feet away.
Right up at the very beginning of SCUBA training (with PADI) I had the option of going with the Imperial or Metric units of measurement. Normally I'd simply default to Metric because calculations are typically easier.
But the way they teach safe ascents is that you should ascend at 1 foot per second or one meter in four seconds.
I decided that since the ascent rate was one of the most important numbers I'd have to keep a hold of in my mind during a potentially stressful situation. So therefore I'd do one foot a second. So I'm using Imperial for everything.
Incidentally, my computer prefers one foot every two seconds (a meter every 8 seconds) as the ascent rate. Still that's either 18 meters per minute or 9 meters per minute, versus 60 feet per minute or 30 feet per minute. The Imperial is just easier to count. 
And yeah, I know the numbers don't work out. That's just the standards they use so at least they come out to even numbers of feet or meters.
So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Until we finally alter our time system so it is decimal or we alter our numbering system so it is dozenal or duodecimal. Because I'm totally down with that.


Any math errors I may have made above I totally reserve the right to correct and then pretend they were never there in the first place.

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Computer Badge

I dunno. Should I get a super-powerful laptop computer so I can do 3D rendering at home?
I just don't know things. I've been spending a lot of time out at my parents recently and having a computer that can directly handle some of that 3D work could be really helpful.
MacBook Pro -- although it would allow me to edit in Final Cut Pro -- is $2500. Good grief. Well, the $2500 one is actually fairly fancy-pants. There are cheaper ones.
Sigh. It's actually the dang video card which makes all the difference, isn't it?

Apparently many NYC police officers wear fake badges. I want a fake badge too, something very Warhammer-y though. For our next movie. You can design a custom badge here.

Wednesday, October 02, 2013


You might think you don't need a $15 pair of nail clippers. But let me tell you. You do. You so do.

Totally worth it.
Fun fact: in New York State pharmacists cannot give you a tetanus vaccination. But in New Jersey they can.
I was thinking this might be fashion in the future. You know. How I think things.

I don't know much about biomechanics, Roy, I wish I did.