I broke down an ordered a Telecaster.
It's a cheap Telecaster. I know I won't be happy until I jump up many rungs and get a Fender Custom Shop tele designed just for me, but until that time, this is what I'm doing.
I have a '51 Nocaster bridge pickup for it, and a Twisted Tele neck pickup. I also have some compensated brass saddles. I am considering an armrest carve and belly carve. I'm also considering putting a D-shaped hole in it. But I'm definitely putting paisleys on it.
You'll note it is already quite light, so putting a relief hole (where the armrest carve would go) might not be the best thing. And without stripping off the poly, those sorts of cuts might not work at all. But the paislies? Oh those will work.
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