That being said, I got my certification today

My SCUBA instructor grabs me at about 20 feet and has me ascend with him while the rest of the class stays below. After we get to the surface this exchange occurs:

Me: "Hey. Whatssup?"
Him: "There's blood in your mask."
Me: "Awesome."
Him: "Not awesome."

Seems I just gave myself a nosebleed while equalizing. Either that or the nanobots in my bloodstream have received the kill code and are beginning the zombie apocalypse with me as patient zero. Again.