That's it. Forget it. I'm cancelling Christmas.
Remember when I was all excited because the TSA would allow pocketknives on airplanes? Well thanks to a bunch of whining by know-nothings, it's not going to happen.
My already anti-Christmas family had this whole idea that they were going to give money to charity. I mean for Christmas. Like to the Philippines and such. When I had the brilliant idea that I'd give everyone knives. You know, thinking that the TSA wouldn't take them away anymore.
Well now my brilliant idea has gone to pot and now there's only charity. Well "tphthth" to that.
There. It's done.