Sunday, December 14, 2008

OK, I quit

As far as I can tell, Grand Theft Auto IV is simply unplayable on the PC. At least on any reasonable PC which I have. (Maybe it's playable on my dual quad-core Mac, but I can't take up that machine's time with playing games.) When Nico's telephone rings it takes about 20 minutes of "game time" (and about 4 minutes of "my time") just to answer it. I can walk around but otherwise I just have to wait until the call "answers".

Needless to say, it's incredibly frustrating as that damn Roman is calling all the time and you can't even "ignore" the incoming phone call so all you can do is walk around until the game decides you are allowed to answer the phone. You can't even hijack a car when the phone has rung and you haven't "answered" or "ignored".


And I don't want to have anything to do with the Rockstar Social Club or any of that stuff. I don't want to do multiplayer. I don't really even want to do any missions -- mostly because I'm such a bad driver.

You know what I was good at? Doom. Yeah, the first Doom. I could play that at the most insane level without cheats and win. But now I just want to find the Ghanaian businessman in GTA and steal his car.

All I want to do is drive around and shoot my friends. Is that too much to ask?

I finally gave up and used the "give me all the weapons" cheat and started shooting at police cars. That's what you're supposed to do, right? Some days it's hard to tell.

In any case, I'm just going to get an XBox after Christmas (because you know nobody will buy me one) and play on that thing.

Oh, and you know what else is awesome? Not being able to figure out what control does what on the PC. In fact, when you look up the controls in the game, they give them to you as a game controller for an XBox, not which keys/mouse buttons on the PC keyboard do what. Thanks guys! But I found a list of controls on the Interwebs.

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