Make the opening more like a Power Point presentation with bullet points.
Call the test something cool like Voight Kampf. But you know, not actually Voight Kampf. Maybe the "Csulik Niles test".
Point out that the Crossworlders speak our languages natively.
Point out the suspicion that Crossworlders are responsible for everything bad that's ever happened to us.
While they are able to experience emotion, they are unable to articulate it in words, lacking the capacity to express abstract concepts or use metaphor or symbolism.
That's freakin' brilliant.
Do we think the alt-humans would call us something like "alpha-humans" or "omega-humans"? Maybe one of the students calls us "omega-humans" and Megan stops them, saying that referring to them as "omegas" marks you as an alt-human right away. So "we don't use that word".
Scene 25 -- should the number of alt-humans that have been eliminated be more like fifteen thousand or such?
Should we establish that people get tested when they're "denounced"?
We shouldn't have anything written down that would need to be subtitled. Overseas distributors hate text on screen.
Scene 36. You know I hate news reports. Ha!
39 -- establish that Pundo sold them out so he could get more drugs.
We keep needing observation rooms. How do we build an observation room?
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