Wednesday, February 24, 2010

What is this, 1953?

First of all, my cousin Jaime-Jin forwarded this video to me. It's kind of brilliant. The audio is apparently a guy on acid, sitting in a closet. It's kind of like Nick Park's Creature Comforts that way.

OK, so there's a blog dedicated to "Nudity Required, No Pay". And they pull out our Actor's Access post. Here's their comment:

Thanks to Anonymous for tipping us off to this masterpiece where our heroine - poor, haunted, schitzo Laura - will probably be forced to make back-lit naked "love" to Neil the crazy drunk. It is very fortunate, however, that her psychiatrist is also one of the "very few survivors of the apocalypse". I mean - what are the odds?

It's kind of adorable how they assume that Neil is the love interest. Nope. Love interest is Sergeant Steady. And we'll probably see more of him naked than her. Ha!

You'll note that not a single European actor cares about nudity. Nope, that's strictly a bit of arcane, American, prurience. To which I say (with hand over mouth) "Ooh! Titter titter!"

More from our biggest fan (you have to scroll to Jan 26, 2010 to see the post) on a post I made about nudity in our pictures:

I realize things have changed alot thanks to the Internet - but is it actually possible to get actors to do PORN for NO PAY now? If it wasn't for the damn R restriction my guess is he'd have already investigated that potential avenue of exploitation, very thoroughly.

Heck, if we were doing porn we'd be able to pay our actors up-front. But I don't really understand the market for porn, and furthermore that market is (apparently) falling just like all the other markets are.

Interestingly, nudity isn't really a big selling point. One of our distributors was complaining to me the other day about how the "kiosks" like RedBox can have SAW IV or whatever but if there's a single breast in a movie they get all apoplectic. Sort of like Janet Jackson at the Superbowl.

Unfortunately, Nancy McClernan seems a bit obsessed with me now. Sheesh. Maybe she has been for a while. She seems to think that all my blog posts are about her now. Oh well. I'm certainly not the first one that's happened to.


We still haven't locked our first location which is a tad frustrating as it's annoying to not be able to get call sheets out. Nobody (meaning actors) wants to read a "day out of days" sheet and then interpolate which scenes they should be familiar with. Bleh. Maybe I'll just start making up the sheets without the actual locations on them. Or maybe one of these locations will actually call me back. We. Shall. See.

How hard should it be to get a rooftop in Brooklyn anyway? (The trick is that we need to get the insurance and then permits and hope and pray we can get TCD -- which is the New York police division which deals with film stuff -- because we're going to have guns.)


Lindsay Stewart said...

my understanding is that you are engaging your actors on a deferred payment basis. essentially, when the film generates a certain amount of revenue, the cast is paid their share. as a member of actra (canada's version of sag) that describes one of the programs by which the union generates permits for low and lower budget creators to work with professional actors.

from having taken a glance at mclernan's site, i'm struck by the disconnect that she operates under. on the one hand, you feature a certain amount of artistic nudity in your work and that makes you a smut merchant and wannabe porn producer. yet on her own site she waxes lyrical about the status of her own erotic writings on literotica. hypocrisy much? i think the main difference is that she is enormously pretentious and you are creating entertainments . she is a nattering twit with delusions of relevance and you're having fun making stuff.

i think i'll bookmark her site for future laffs. and do let us all know the moment her legal bullying goes into effect. i look forward to the comedy.

Andrew Bellware said...

Really? That's a very progressive way for Canadian ACTRA to be thinking.

Essentially, the idea is that if we should go all Blair Witch or something then everyone's a millionaire. (The actual movie Blair Witch did NOT make all their cast and crew millionaires.)


Disconnect are we! Hoo hoo! Besides, I aspire to be a smut merchant. That would make me a merchant ;-).

Lindsay Stewart said...

i await your sonnet with bated edwardian breath good sir.

Andrew Bellware said...

I always have trouble getting the last to lines to rhyme...

Kangas said...

Stalkers can be fun. And hey, starting internet wars is always a great way to generate traffic(as she mentions on her site).

I will not be bookmarking her site because I dislike people who call themselves playwrights unless their name rhymes with Fake Spear or Ram It.

I am quite indifferent to cultural materialists though.

Andrew Bellware said...

Apparently she's busy stalking many other people, so I'm low on her stalking list. As long as my name is spelled right though, I'll get more traffic and then... PROFIT!

WTF is a cultural materialist? Is that what we used to call a Frankfurt School Marxist?

Frankfurt isn't really my kind of town anyway.